Couple Divided

When I was growing up, I heard romantic relationships should be 50/50. I don’t know about you, but I give at least 100% to just about everything I do. So to me, a 50/50 ratio doesn’t make sense for a healthy, sustainable relationship. It seems whoever came up with this didn’t pay attention in math class. Fifty percent? That’s only half of a whole. If you were only given 50% of your salary instead of 100%, wouldn’t you be angry? I bet you would!

When it comes to relationships, it’s time to redo the math. Giving only fifty percent is not even close to enough. In fact, that’s a failing grade in college! Why has it taken this long to realize the real number should be 100%? Where 100% is the contribution from both partners.

Giving 100% of ourselves to our partners doesn’t mean sacrifice or submission. It just means we’ve decided to nourish and fully commit to our relationships. Our challenge as couples should be to give of ourselves in such a way that our partners feel 100% safe, loved, and appreciated. And, as a result of that, they will hopefully be 100% committed in return.

When we aren’t willing to give all of ourselves to our partners, we deprive them (and ourselves) of the chance to receive 100% of what they deserve. Nobody wins in this situation.

Have you ever felt guilty about not giving more? I have! There will of course be times in your relationship when your attention will be required elsewhere. But if this happens for long enough periods of time, your relationship will suffer. It is hard to recover, but it is possible.

Awareness is the key to finding clues that tell you it is time to adjust your efforts. How are you doing with the following?

  • Are you low on energy? When you’re feeling tired and run down, it is a sign something is “off” balance for you. Energy, much like love, flows and vibrates throughout us every day. Low energy levels mean low vibration. It’s time to re-energize yourself!
  • Do you feel any of these?
    • Resentful
    • Bitter
    • Angry
    • Jealous
    • Apathetic
    • Annoyed

If you can relate to any of the above, then you need an adjustment. Here are some ways to check in with yourself:

  • What percentage are you giving in your relationship? What is your partner giving? Do they agree with you?
  • What do you want to give and get in your relationship? Are you giving and getting it?

Discuss your needs, wants, and desires with the important people in your life. They are not mind readers. You need to tell them what you need! (For more information, see “Does Your Relationship Fill You Up or Deplete You?“)

Love is limitless. You can’t ever give too much.