Here is the central issue with people pleasers: they appear nearly perfect, but what you see is rarely what you get. They want everyone around them to be happy. This is because they think they will gain happiness from others being taken care of. What often happens is, they are seeking to be happy themselves. So when they please you they appear happy, but underneath they are secretly angry that you are happy and they are not.
People pleasers are always looking to fill a need missing deep within themselves. They seek external validation from others to fill their “emotional buckets”. This bucket never fills up, either. The more they try to fill it up using others’ needs, the more holes develop. Eventually, the bucket ends up empty and dry.
There is a way to combat the need to please others: the person must develop enough self-worth to begin filling his own bucket. This will not be an easy, overnight fix, but it will start to develop a life that is more authentic and true.
A word of warning–be prepared if you were the one ‘using’ the people pleaser for your own selfish reasons. If the person has become more confident, more assertive, and less willing to do what pleased you in the past, then you will have to fend for yourself. Don’t consider this a loss but a gain, overall. When the “former” people pleaser actually does something for you, it will be done in an enthusiastic and energetic manner that will propel you towards success.
Alignment is key for everyone to succeed.
I want to hear from you. What do you think about what I said?
Live. Love. Thrive.