I frequently look for synchronicities in life. I find them to be awe-inspiring.
Living: Friday, July 29, 2016 started with a beautiful walk, a quick breakfast, important business calls, then off to the doctor’s to get a healthy dose of vitamins. I have had this exact same medical procedure d
one many times before, so I wasn’t worried in the least. However, this time, things took a terrible turn on me.
Within the first ten seconds of the vitamin load, something began to feel “off” inside of me. The nurse administering the dose had just rounded my bed from one side to another—merely 20 seconds had lapsed—when I realized something was going really, really wrong. Within 30 seconds, I was beginning to go into full anaphylactic shock!
Fortunately for me, I was in a facility that was entirely prepared to handle my situation. Plus, my doctor remained calm—which helped me to keep calm as well, since I knew I was crashing quickly. I suspected I had about two minutes before my body went into full shut-down mode. I heard the crash cart being rolled in and suddenly knew the possible outcomes. I knew I might be a goner—my vision was beginning to blur, while the internal heat of my body continued to intensify. I am not one to take a bunch of medications, but I was still aware enough to pray that medication to counteract whatever was happening to me would soon appear.
“Rest,” they said. “Relax.”
The anxiety of realizing I was dying too soon scared the hell out of me! My throat was closing—quickly. I began to chock and throw-up. I did the only thing I knew to do, pray. I was in choice — continue trying to breathe and relax. I heard the crash cart being rolled in and knew this is not my fate. Fortunately, within moments of my prayer the medicine they gave me was in effect.
The first medicine helped by stopping the progressing of the reaction but it didn’t take it away. 5 minutes later they administered yet another strong medicine to help reverse the effects.
Literally, moment by moment, I began to improve. Each moment seemed like a new beginning. It was hours later, my heart rate finally resumed its “normal beating”. The doctor finally sighed, then started to relax. I heard her say, “I am so happy for this heart rate.” With relief “Ha ha—me too!”
Once the adrenaline wore off, I felt beyond weak and exhausted. I wasn’t able to feel certain parts of my body for hours. Moment by moment, my awareness of physical improvement brought a renewed sense of great calm and gratitude.
Knowing you are dying: I knew I was going down. I’ve had close calls in the past, when I didn’t know. However, knowing this time has given me a different experience. It has allowed me to call in Spirit much quicker. To recognize the differences time and time again has humbled me.
As it turns out, the facility has never had anyone experience a reaction of this type to the vitamins. The swift action of the doctor, along with the care she provided was beautiful.
I am blessed. I am here. I am here. I am here.
Now time has passed since the incident, I am feeling more in awe than in ease. The first night I was exhausted, weak, and thankful for each of those emotions. I was also on high alert.
As I tried to sleep, I awakened every hour with the ghosts of different sensations from the reaction I had earlier: burning, gagging, intense pins and needles poking at me from inside, my organs heating, my throat closing and even, at times, I felt like gasping for air.
Sounds dramatic, doesn’t it? It was. Each hour, I noticed it was just a sign—not an emergency. I would take a deep breath of relief. I am here!
I took the next day to rest and noticed that my emotions ranged from tearfulness to gratitude, laughter and, finally, giddy joy. I am here!
Walking to get the mail I noticed the night sky, I felt the breeze and was thankful for another day.
I made myself truly aware of each moment. I would tune into my body in different ways, making sure I tended to it properly. Even drinking my lemon and parsley water tasted differently. It seemed to be full of flavor—I drank it all in and this time did not resist. No resistence is an awe inspiring feeling. The wisdom of allowing that we are all in need of was in full bloom.
I often tend to be very private in many ways. Now, I feel like this is no longer serving me as it did in the past. Therefore, I appreciated all the notes and text messages of love, concern and worry.
I have always believed I am guided by spirit and this latest experience has taught me to not be afraid. I have been to the edge, and fear is not the answer. It never has been. LOVE is the answer and for me I found that in spirit.
So, I will move forward in more daring ways than ever before by sharing my spiritual experiences with folks who truly wish to live a life of Being In Sync. I may not be for everybody, but Being is! We all need reminders of how spirit moves in and through us. It is not as mysterious as we have been told.
Today, right this moment, I am in awe of the human body and our internal connection to the healing we all have. Life, for me, is great.
Tips for mindfulness in crisis:
1. Spirit is always present.
2. Call on the energy that is within us all.
3. Trust and believe that you are taken care of.
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