Many people hope for the kind of relationship where they feel nothing but excitement for another person. They imagine a strong sexual attraction, ending with a deeply connected intimacy.
This type of bond is intense and feels amazing, and definitely gets the hormones flowing. But is it real intimacy? Or is it simply sexual compatibility?
Sexual compatibility has very little to do with real intimacy. Yes, it gives you a lot of pleasure, but it differs from real intimacy in one way: longevity.
Intimacy – real intimacy – begins when you allow yourself to be 100% vulnerable and open with another person. It’s when you allow others to see you for who you really are and what you do to serve others in this world.
Should you show others your flaws and imperfections? Yes, when real intimacy is involved, you show these qualities, too. You don’t need to hide behind a façade and only present the “good” qualities you have. You should also let them see your flaws, and don’t concern yourself (too much) about what they think of you. Instead, let yourself be completely honest, and show who you truly are because you know that being closed off from your own love prevents you from loving – or receiving love from – others.
Being in touch with your fears, thoughts, and emotions can be scary. It involves a great deal of risk, and risk can mean vulnerability. Letting others see you for who you really are requires you be vulnerable in order to gain the reward of intimacy.
Here are my 2 cents on judgment: It doesn’t matter what others think of you. It’s actually none of your business.
One of the best tips I can offer for achieving true intimacy is to LET GO. Let go of the past fears and insecurities you have. Let go of the hurt from broken relationships or failures. Dwelling on them prevents intimacy from growing. Choose instead to create intimacy in all the relationships you value.
